|
Writing
Jun 6, 2008 21:47:16 GMT -5
Post by ij6565 on Jun 6, 2008 21:47:16 GMT -5
You can create your own thread with a story, but thats your thread, right now this is just a general discussion really
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 8, 2008 10:30:39 GMT -5
Post by Ariessya on Jun 8, 2008 10:30:39 GMT -5
Okay, so I have my epilogue written out for my book and i love it ^-^ i am going to write a small paragraph based on it. Goldra sat in her den, thinking about how mating season had come and gone. Just as each century had. Come and gone, come and gone... the words echoed in her head. Her son was sitting in the Lair, as the new leader. He would be powerful; she had faith in him. 365 000 days have gone by, she thought. Counting days was much more entertaining than counting years. But once one reaches an even year, then counting days is just as boring. Her son met her entrance. He became a child again when he knew where his mother was going. How could he let her go? The sun set and rose, just like any other days. 365 001 days. The mighty beast rose from her rest, prepared to make the best of any of her days. Every animal, from lizards to Chihuahuas, gathered in a crowd that stretched across the horizon. They meowed or trumpeted or whatever other noise they made. Goldra walked proudly to the centre where her children surrounded her. Tears were shared, hopes lost, feelings uncovered. There was a final flash, and Goldra’s last day ended abruptly. She was dead.
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 8, 2008 16:47:10 GMT -5
Post by Flare on Jun 8, 2008 16:47:10 GMT -5
wait, epilogue? just saying, but its best to write your story without a predesignated end. Its what I do. Except if you meant prologue.
other then a few (or alot) of grammar errors and just the shortness of it its good. Also, instead of lizards to Chiwuawuas, say lizards to lions.
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 9, 2008 16:52:30 GMT -5
Post by Kira on Jun 9, 2008 16:52:30 GMT -5
ok so im gonna post my smallish story She was tossing and turning in her sleep, having a nightmare. She needed him, calling out to him silently. She shivered as a breeze blew over her. The nightmare had taken over…
*************** He crept silently into the manor, doing his best not to be caught. He leaned against the wall, feeling the refreshing coolness against his sweaty skin. Another silent scream echoed through his head, making his eyes widen. She needed him, he felt her pain, and she was definitely in pain now. He looked up, silently counting the windows till he reached the seventh one. He scaled the wall easily, using the jutting out stones as grips. He reached up to the window and silently pried it open, cursing as a breeze blew in. He climbed through the window and landed softly on the floor. He looked at the small figure on the bed, sleeping peacefully. Or so it seemed….but he knew better. He could feel it in his very being...her pain. He walked over to her, fondly glancing at her form. As he neared her he could see her twisting a bit in her bed. He stopped at the edge of the bed was, near her head, and breathed in her sweet scent. Lavenders and tulips, unique to her alone. He hesitated a moment then gently stroked her face, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She murmured something in her sleep, and it broke his heart to see the pained look on her face. Her thrashing became more violent and he stood back, unsure of what to do. He contemplated for a moment then, his decision made, he walked around to the other side of her bed. Glancing at her one more time, to strengthen his decision, he slipped into the bed beside her and drew her into his arms. She stiffened for a moment and half opened her eyes. She took a tentative sniff, then rolled over in his arms so she faced his chest. She took another sniff to assure herself of the identity of her captor, then fell asleep, content in his arms. He stayed awake as long as he could, watching over her, but eventually even he succumbed to the luring call of sleep.
*************** The suns rays penetrated her eyelids, and she woke up cold and shivering. The heat that had kept her warm all night had disappeared. She opened her eyes half way and glanced around the room. There was no sign of anyone else in the room, not even the window was open. She sighed, wondering if it all was a dream. She burrowed her face in her pillow, inhaling deeply. She stopped suddenly, surprised, and took another sniff of the pillow. Yes...there it was. Forest and sweat...a smell unique to only him. She smiled. She held the pillow close to her and fell asleep again, content to have his scent if nothing else. A shadowy figure disappeared from her window, she was happy so, in turn, he was happy.
Soooo..what do you think?
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 9, 2008 19:24:37 GMT -5
Post by Flare on Jun 9, 2008 19:24:37 GMT -5
a little too much open ends. For that short of a story it was godd, but the last sentence was a lkittle weak.
It would be I good place to start a story, maybe like a Romeo and Juliet scenario?
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 9, 2008 21:50:02 GMT -5
Post by †Lak† on Jun 9, 2008 21:50:02 GMT -5
we can write small stories in this thread then? ... ... i may start writing a little story then...
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 11, 2008 16:50:25 GMT -5
Post by Kira on Jun 11, 2008 16:50:25 GMT -5
im gonna move my story to a new thread so that it doesnt clog up the thread or anything and flare how would you propose ending this if you thought the ending was weak? how can i fix this?
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 11, 2008 17:03:44 GMT -5
Post by ij6565 on Jun 11, 2008 17:03:44 GMT -5
As am I with balance... later though so I can work on geo
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 11, 2008 21:49:46 GMT -5
Post by †Lak† on Jun 11, 2008 21:49:46 GMT -5
why not post your own thread for stories in this sub forum. This IS a creative writing segment...
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 12, 2008 15:24:49 GMT -5
Post by Ariessya on Jun 12, 2008 15:24:49 GMT -5
Mmkay, I wrote this in Geography because I was bored and I was totally miserable. Amber read it and she got all sad for me. Then we talked and she doesn't know what to do =O I am soooo mad at Jaclyn right now that I could bust her head >:{ Why is it that when I see you, your eyes, your hair, your wonderful smile, I get a little nervous? Why is it that when you laugh, I get the urge to laugh, too? Why is it that I want to be witty and funny around you? Why is it that you seem to be the funniest person on Earth, to me? I love you, I love you. Why is it that when I see her, my heart crumbles? Why is it that whenever you speak, a reminder of lost love pierces my soul? Why is it that when she kisses you, I want to scream in agony? I love you, I love you. Why is it that I care about what you think? Why is it that I want to keep you? Why is it that I never waste a moment with you? Why is it that I never told you? I love you, I love you.
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 12, 2008 16:19:53 GMT -5
Post by Kira on Jun 12, 2008 16:19:53 GMT -5
ooooo Aries....thats really deeep
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 12, 2008 16:50:44 GMT -5
Post by Ariessya on Jun 12, 2008 16:50:44 GMT -5
thanks. i was feeling really crappy so i wrote. yeah...
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 12, 2008 17:47:29 GMT -5
Post by ij6565 on Jun 12, 2008 17:47:29 GMT -5
True writing comes from the heart... thats all I have to say good job Aries its deep
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 12, 2008 17:54:24 GMT -5
Post by Flare on Jun 12, 2008 17:54:24 GMT -5
thats nice. really nice. And wow, this problematic affair with your friend liking the same guy you like is really getting into you. Im guessing this Jacclyn girl is the girl who has the guy you like?
EDIT:
Life is not worth toiling over some love song, if all you get is a kiss on the cheek. You try to assure me, if you wish to assure me, then tell me you love me! Or is that just too hard. So what of poetry, of novels, of songs? They’re pointless to me, just pieces of paper to be thrown out to sea. You tell me I’m brilliant, they’re wonderful, so beautiful so nice. Why have I never heard those words about me? Or is that just to hard. You’ve wasted your time with bullies and nuisances, always telling me you’re okay. I see you laugh at their crude jokes and lewd humor, but why will you never laugh with me? I dream of you endlessly, no wait, no stop, and wake up longing to sleep. We atlk, but our chat is never heart felt, just chat. No poem or rhyme will win you ever, only muscle, which is the only thing of I lack. When you look at me you see right through me, gazing at some other boy’s eyes. Why won’t you notice me.
You say it’s okay. We’re friends, we’re cool. I guess that’s what we are. Just Friends.
|
|
|
Writing
Jun 13, 2008 10:36:11 GMT -5
Post by Bill E312 MD on Jun 13, 2008 10:36:11 GMT -5
Here's something that I made when I was depressed. By chance, I put it in words. Tick...Tock... Tick... Tock... I stare at the clock, Hanging on my wall, Entranced as though called.
Everything in this day, Made me a little sad, you may say, Called by my mother, for no reason I could fathom, For as to me, she was nothing more than a phantom.
'You are terminally ill," she said, I nodded my head numbly, knowing the price I had to play. Everything she said was true, yet could not be, For I was still young, you see.
I refused to get any treatment, For I knew it was hopeless, for this is the payment. I made a pact with HIM, My life hung on his whim.
Everything I do, could be my last. As I try to relive my past. Nothing came, for it was too miserable. And I do not wish to be unstable.
Then it hit me, I knew I was going to be free, For soon I will be walking in a new path, As he is calling me back.
I breathed deeply, The pain in my brain creeping, Slowly and painfully, Taking my life and soul wholly.
I blinked my eyes, Before I could say goodbye, To my friends and family, I went to meet my Creator.
Note: This was one when I was feeling suicidal. Don't worry, I won't do anything of that sort. Super depressing right?
|
|